Friendships in Nursing: How to Build Your Nursing Community

Friendships at work are often the best source of emotional support. Nurses with strong connections to other nurses reported experiencing lower stress levels than those without these relationships, according to a 2016 survey.

Research further links friendships with good health. Women with breast cancer were less likely to have a recurrence or die from cancer if they had strong social ties. People with friends also live longer.

Nursing is a demanding profession. Having a life and relationships outside of work is important to balance work-related stress. Yet, making friends as a nurse and maintaining those friendships can be challenging.

In many countries, loneliness has become an epidemic. The COVID-19 pandemic disrupted work and social lives, increasing the number of people who lost friends or had difficulty making friends. As an adult, it’s important to recognize that it takes time to build a trusting relationship.

Other barriers may include personal insecurities, an introverted personality, or difficulty allowing others to see the real you. Yet, it is entirely possible to build meaningful and long-lasting friendships that ultimately support a lifetime of health and wellness.

A survey published by the National Council of State Boards of Nursing found nearly 100,000 RNs working in the U.S. left their jobs because of the stressors encountered during the COVID-19 pandemic. The same survey reveals over 800,000 nurses plan to leave by 2027 because of stress, retirement, or burnout.

Although making friends as a nurse and developing a deep nurse-to-nurse bond is not the sole answer to rising stress from the growing nursing shortage, these supportive relationships benefit a nurse’s mental health and ability to continue caring for patients.

Nurses have more intense experiences on the job than most other professionals, resulting in a higher level of stress. The unique aspects of nursing mean that only other nurses understand what nurses go through on the job.

Throughout my over 20-year nursing career, I had close friends who were nurses when my physical and mental symptoms of stress were at their lowest. During those 20 years, my family moved four times, so I became somewhat of an expert at learning how to make friends in a new city.

Only another nurse knows what it feels like to hold a patient’s hand while they die. Only another nurse understands the stress of working with a high nurse-to-patient ratio on an evening when most patients need extra care. Only another nurse understands waking suddenly at night shaking after a dream that you forgot a patient assignment, didn’t pass your meds, or froze during a code.

Other friends and family may try to be understanding and compassionate about the situations you describe. But, until you live through them, it’s nearly impossible to fathom the depth and range of emotion that can happen in a 10-hour shift.

Nurses with long-term friendships report having lower levels of stress. But, developing nurse-to-nurse bonds can be especially challenging for travel nurses. Travel nurses move from city to city and embrace change while stepping into a room full of strangers and making themselves at home.

Travel nurses become adept at making friends and creating special bonds that can last a lifetime, especially with online social media platforms that allow you to keep up with your friends no matter where you live.

For better or worse, friendships play a large part in determining happiness. They help develop a sense of belonging, encourage us to become who we want to be, and can even shape goals and dreams.

Each experience and friendship has its own rewards and set of challenges. Making friends as an adult is more difficult than as a child, but it may also be more rewarding.

A lack of trust, time, and energy create obstacles to developing deep and lasting friendships. Instead of thinking of making friends as a large mountain to cross, consider building friendships in just 10 minutes a day.

You may only need 10 minutes a day to catch up with someone after work, send a text, or forward a meme. When you connect with someone interested in reciprocating your friendship, try leaning into your vulnerability.

You’re in control of how much you open up to another person. While there is a risk in being vulnerable, it opens the possibility for a meaningful friendship with another nurse.

Making friends as a travel nurse is easier at work since you live in the area for a limited time. Oftentimes, other travel nurses are working in the same area.

It may seem easier for more outgoing nurses to make friends, but there are strategies you can use, no matter your personality. The first time my husband’s company transferred us, I was lucky enough to share an office with a nurse who became my friend.

While I’m outgoing and enjoy talking with strangers, I do not enjoy socializing outside of work, going to parties, or spending long hours on the phone. We had a young family, my husband worked long hours, and I was busy. It wasn’t long before I chose to see a therapist.

Learning how to take care of my mental health was a new experience. But, I quickly learned that having a support system and close friends helped ease the loneliness and smooth the transition into a new city. Making friends as a nurse was an important aspect of my mental health.

Nurses who enjoy socializing tend to organize outings for groups of nurses. It gives nurses time to get away from the job and see each other as people, not just as someone you call for help when you need to transfer a patient or have a question about a medication.

You can feel uncomfortable doing anything socially when you’re a little shy. But, the key to connecting with others is simple — focus on them, not yourself. When people know you’re truly interested in their feelings, experiences, and opinions, it makes them feel good, and they notice. You’ll make more friends by being interested in them than trying to get people interested in you.

Another trick is to pay attention to what’s going on around you. You may need to keep your phone with you in case of an emergency at home, but don’t look at the screen constantly and avoid other distractions. When you pay attention to what people are saying and how they act, you’ll get to know them far quicker.

Remembering someone’s children’s names or what’s going on in their life shows people that you care. It takes two to have a friendship, so it’s important to recognize whether the other person wants a new friend. Even if they genuinely like you, it may not be the best time to become their friend.

Another option is joining a group of nurses outside of work. For example, consider joining a nursing organization or mentorship program. Look for meet-ups organized for nurses, or consider starting a group focused on an activity you enjoy, like a book club for nurses.

All connections thrive on regular communication and interaction. And like all other friendships, your friendship with another nurse must overcome some obstacles in everyday life. For instance, misunderstandings, miscommunication, and an unequal power struggle can quickly create a divide that ends a friendship.

After moving on to your next job or role within the organization, you may find it hard to maintain your friendships. This is a difficult choice to make. But, like many things in life, some friendships are there for a season and others for a lifetime.

Consider the friendships you want to maintain and spend the time and energy necessary to keep them.

I have a friend I’ve known for 23 years. She’s lived in three cities since I met her, and I’ve stayed in one. Sometimes we talk every month, and other times it’s six months or more before we catch up. But, each time, it’s like we talked just yesterday.

Some friendships come naturally, and others need more work. Neither type is better than the other. What’s important is making friends as a nurse and maintaining those friendships because they give us strength, support, and confidence.

Friendships are the families we choose. While it takes work and commitment to maintain those friendships, the payoff is big. Lower stress levels, better physical and mental health, and friends who know how to support you emotionally are some benefits that pay dividends for years to come.